And the Battle Continues

O-weight loss how I loathe you! As with most people, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. Food is so good and I love it. I wish I was one of those people who found eating annoying and only did it because I knew my body needed it, but alas I am not. I am a classic emotional eater. I eat when I'm board, happy, sad, depressed, excited, hungry, full, etc... I find great comfort in eating. Defiantly not a good thing to do, but what I do none the less.

Feeling depressed and lonely, I reached my heaviest ever right after we moved here. Two and a half years ago (1 year after I moved here) I realized I was going to have to start buying a bigger size of clothes. We were also entertaining the idea of starting a family. I decided something had to be done. I didn't want to go up a size or go over 200 lbs when I got pregnant. And so a serious weight loss journey began. I joined weight watchers with Eric and went on the quest to become healthy. We cleaned out our pantry and started exercising. At first it was really hard, because we had the cravings for crappy foods and our bodies weren't used to the smaller amounts of calories we were allowing them. But as time went on everything got easier and became more ingrained in us. It became easier and easier to pass the candy bowl at work with out snagging anything and pot-lucks and parties became more of a social thing for us than a gorging pig fest. After 9 months of weight watchers I had lost 35lbs and was at the smallest I had ever been in my adult life. I felt good about myself and felt great. I continued weight watchers habits into my pregnancy and was able gain weight healthily. We were still walking 3 miles each night up until the week before the baby was born.

Then the slippery slope into unhealthy started. Post pregnancy I couldn't continue weight watchers because I wasn't producing enough milk for Emmett, and then Emmett developed a severe diary allergy so all diary had to be cut out as well. I was able to slip back into my old eating habit while maintaining a middle ground weight. I was half way in between my heaviest and smallest. Nursing kept my metabolism going and allowed me to be a pig. It was awesome!

Well, after our Christmas vacation we cut out nursing. I was really proud of myself that we made it 13.5 months, but I was ready to be done with it too. Emmett transitioned fine with it all which made it easier. knowing that I no longer had the magic metabolism booster, it's back to watching calories and exercising. Let me just say, it feels way harder this time! Finding time to exercise has been a bear. We always went on walks after dinner. Now we start doing the baby's bed time routine. Weekend nap times have been the only time I've found time to do stuff. Cutting back calories and shrinking my stomach again sucks. I am hungry a lot even though I know I just ate enough healthy stuff. I think about food all the time and just want to stuff my face with chocolate desserts and greasy junk food. Urg! is all I can say.

So, once again we are on the quest to be healthy. Processed food are out again. Our fridge and cupboards are filled with produce and natural stuff. We are back to making healthy meals and cutting down on portions. This transition time totally sucks, but I know that soon it will all start to get easier as our mindsets and habits morph back into healthy ones.

We are doing this for ourselves, but also to model to Emmett a better way to live. It's so much easier to eat unhealthy. Let's face it, it's cheaper and more convenient but I would like to stay a reasonable size and not end up a balloon. I would also like to live past 50. So there you go. I have 16 pounds to loose to get back to my pre-prego size. I started that journey a week ago. It's been a hard week. However, on a positive note...I lost 2 lbs. So hooray for me!!!

We'll keep you posted on our never ending battle against food. Hope you have a good one and smile a little because it's a good day :-)