Oi it has been a busy and emotional week. I started back to school on Monday. There is a bit of change with that too. I originally wrote I would be working for a charter school. Soon after we got back from Michigan, I got an offer to go back to work with the district I was at only at a different school, but still 1st grade. We decided that this would be better for our family. The paycheck, benefits, hours, and the fact I wouldn't have to work summers were huge deciding factors. Anyway, I was feeling very overwhelmed. I had 3 days to unpack and set up my classroom before school started with several meeting thrown in. Eric helped a lot at night which was great but I still felt stretched thin this week. It's weird how this school is in the same district and has the same socioeconomic population its servicing...its just very different. Not bad different just different. One cool thing is it has more technology. So I am trying to get used to that and learning how to integrate it into my teaching. My team is beyond nice and helpful. One thing that is weird is that the building is inside. My old school was all open to the outdoors. Its literally a cooler change for sure.
Another change for us, was Emmett going back to daycare. We were lucky enough to go back to the same lady. She just loves Emmett and spoils his face off. It's hard because I am at a late start school so I don't get to leave school until 4. So, we don't get home until 5pm because my school is farther away and by the time I actually leave its like 4:20. We eat at 6-6:30, bath at 7, nursing no later than 7:30, and Emmett is in bed between 7:45 and 8. So I just don't feel like I get to spend the time I'd like to with him. Everything feels so rushed and I hate it. We've been trying to do crock pot dinners or make/prep everything the night before or in the morning so that I don't have to spend my few precious hours with Emmett cooking. There is a possibility the school board could change our start time from 9:05 to 8:05 and then we'd be able to leave at 3 vs. 4. It could take effect as soon as January. I would really like that. So we're praying for the change. It also took me quite awhile this summer to get Emmett on a schedule. We did get it down and it was great, but now he's all off again because we do things differently than daycare. There are lots of kids over there and more distractions, and he's not used to it. So he's not napping there like home. It's just frustrating. Emmett cut his 2nd tooth this week too. So, he's also been more fussy. I think he has more coming too.
Overall, I just feel stretched thin. I don't feel like I'm giving enough to be the best teacher I can be because I'm on such a time schedule. I don't feel like I'm being the mom I want to be because I'm gone so much of the day and am missing so much of Emmett's day. I defiantly don't have time to take care of our house, and poor Eric for sure gets the short end of the stick. I just feel torn, frustrated, and burnt out. I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place. Financially, I have to work so I don't know what else to do. Urg life and responsibility!
Well, that's what we're dealing with. Trying to fine the good moments in between all the change and chaos.
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