Puke Returns to Mrs. Breuker's Room

So if you have followed my blog for the past 3 years, you know that my classroom has always been a puke magnet, except for last year. Last year, thankfully, there were no instances of puke (that I can remember) which was awesome because I was pregnant and super sensitive to smell. My 1st 2 years however were filled with dramatic puking stories (which you can go back and read about if you desire) Well, my break is over and the kids are back to being sick and gross. I have had 2 in class puking, but I have learned. I taught my kids how to puke and where to do it. To my benefit in both instances the kids made it to the trash can. Hooray! Right now something is going around and systematically taking my class out. I have runny noses, coughing and sore throats galore. It's a snot fest in my room right now. Hopefully it will skip me.

In addition to vomit and snot, I have also had poop. Poop is not new for me, if you remember 2 years ago I got some on my shoe when is fell out of a students pants and I kicked it. This time the language barrier came between my student and me which resulted in poop all over. He kept telling me his stomach hurt and he needed to go to the bathroom. I could tell by his face and mannerisms that this was true. It started out normal and then became more frequent as the day went on. I asked him if he was going poop and he said no. As it continued I asked if he had diarrhea he said no. Then in the last 30 minutes he has this pained look and asked to use the bathroom. So he went and came back. I ask if he's alright. Yes he says. 5 minutes later he is panicked and has to go again. I send him. When he returns I ask if he made it. Yup he says. I ask again if he has diarrhea. Nope. OK. Then I hear a little girl say what's that smell? It smells like dog poop. What's all over your chair. Eeew gross. I rush over and the poor kid had poop oozing out of the top of his pants all over his chair and backpack. The bell is going to ring in like 10 minutes, he's embarrassed and crying, and the whole class is starting to hover and snicker. Yuck! is all I can say. O the joys of my job! Good thing I like teaching or all this bodily fluid stuff would totally make me quit.